Mid-Life-Abroad Ennui

I am now over halfway done with my time here in France. I have been here just over four months, and I have a little over three months left. The beginning of 2013 has been rather tough, I think for the following three reasons: first off, I have been out of money for this entire month. I spent more than planned on my Christmas adventures, and after I paid my rent for the month and realized that the CAF (French housing help for people below the poverty line--yes, that's me) was not going to come through for at least another month (I came home to a nice letter requesting more documents that I've already sent them...yay French bureaucracy), I was left with barely enough to cover my groceries. And then my cell phone plan ran out. And the French sale season started and I couldn't help myself (what have you done to me, Harriet and Amy??). So, I have been penniless for the last two weeks, and that makes everything a little hard. Pay day should be any day now, and then I will be able to breathe again... and buy food.

Second reason: I'm bored. I work a total of three hours per day, plus time to walk to school and back, recess, and my three-hour lunch break. I do the same lesson for two weeks in a row. It takes me between one and two hours to create my lesson plan for each two week period. I have way too much time on my hands, which I generally spend doing social things, like hanging out with friends, both physically and virtually, or hermit-like things, like watching TV episodes and reading and killing the occasional cockroach. Going grocery shopping is a huge event in my week because it gives me something important to do. After my life of constant studying at Olaf, I've had the realization that the general ennui that I've been suffering of late has a lot to do with the fact that I have nothing pressing to do (much to my horror). And of course, when you have nothing pressing to do, you just become more lazy and listless. So, time to snap out of that. I'm looking into taking an online class to get an ESL teaching certification, so that will give me something to focus on, and, failing that, I'm going to start assigning myself reading. Oh, and I need to get my butt in gear for this summer and finding a job in the US, so there's that monster task ahead, too. Game on.

Lastly, since I am past the halfway point, I'm starting to think about endings and goodbyes. Saying goodbye is a part of living abroad: you say goodbye to your friends and family, and then you say goodbye to your new friends and extended family in the new place you've discovered. There's a certain amount of risk involved in life abroad, beyond culture shock and the stuff for which my Dad made me pack an army-approved assault flashlight. You have to open yourself to falling in love with the place you're in, with the people you meet, and the joy you find there. You have to build a life with the full knowledge that one day you will have to leave it behind you.

I recently found out that I am not able to apply to be a language assistant through TAPIF for two years in a row, so basically I cannot return next year unless I find another job willing to support a work visa for me (chances are slim). So, there's a strong chance I'll be in the US next year, drowning in a sucky job market and struggling to survive in a society much more hostile to the needs of young adults like myself. My general ennui of late means that returning to my family and friends and a ready supply of Mexican food is really appealing in a lot of ways, but I know that come this June, I'll be missing my life here--my new friends, my little apartment next to the château, my students, train travel--and would willingly trade my burrito for a freshly-baked baguette and a slice of Camembert cheese. And cheap, delicious wine, of course.

Some good news: I think I'm starting to really figure this teaching thing out. I've now had nearly four weeks of successful lessons. We've done body parts, which was a huge hit, and now my unit on feelings is going over just as well. Key to success: activities. I have a song and two different games, plus a worksheet so they have something to bring in their focus after a high-energy activity. I'm connecting well with them and with the teachers, which makes me feel like a real teacher myself.

In the travel realm, Amy, Harriet, Suzie, and I will be heading to Chartres the weekend after next for a little get-away. Chartres Cathedral has been on my list ever since we studied it in Great Con freshman year, so I'm excited to see the stained glass and walk the labyrinth. The town itself is also supposed to be quite nice. Then my friend Adel is coming to visit, and we're going to Germany for some adventures. My friend Hannah will also be visiting around Easter, so we will be hitting up Paris and some castles. And, most exciting, my parents and Auntie Anita will be coming to visit me in May, and it looks like we'll be checking out England and doing a little tour of France before I fly home. A potential trip to Nice and Monaco at the end of April is in the works with Amy and Harriet, but I'll have to see how my funds hold out.

Alright, time for bed. Bonne nuit!

Holidays in France, Part 2: Adventuring, a Spanish New Year's, and a Victory

Well, it's been awhile, but here I am, back to write on my blog. I just want to assure everybody that my blog is the only thing suffering on my goals list that I made back in September, and it is the thing suffering because I'm doing everything else so well (at least I hope so) and thus letting my blog slide a bit.

So, to catch you all up on my holidays: Ali and I went to Carcassonne, a completely preserved medieval village about a three-hour train ride away from Foix. Quite enchanting, and made more so by Ali's lovely company and the fabulous French lunch we treated ourselves to. We also crashed the modern Carcassonne's Christmas markets, including a giant luge (sledding without snow for the kiddies) where we pretended to have a cute, bundled kid on a sled in order to see what the luge was all about. Here's a photo of Carcassonne so you can get an idea and put it on your list of things to see in France:

Carcassonne, in all its medieval glory

We also went to Toulouse, a young, happening city that I've decided I'd rather live in than visit. Not a whole lot to see, but what a cool place! I wish I could provide a visual, but alas, my camera ran out of battery and I stupidly did not bring my charger and wanted to save up all its remaining power for Barcelona. So, I leave you with this image of Toulouse, one I got when I got stranded there thanks to the striking SNCF trains:

Fountain in Toulouse; the pigeons made me smile

Our next stop was Barcelona, Spain, for New Year's! Unfortunately, because we arrived on a Sunday (almost everything closed), were there on a Monday (almost everything closed) and New Year's Day (almost everything closed), and then left early on Wednesday morning, our site-seeing plans did not always go as planned. Plus, we were hit by some unexpected pricey-ness that did not quite gel with our modest budgets. This was frustrating at times, but we were still able to see a ton of cool stuff. Barcelona is one of the most beautiful cities I have ever seen.

View of Barcelona; note red/orange roofs, ocean, and hills

It is right on the ocean, and the architecture is curvy, fun, and colorful. Temps run a little higher than in France, so we enjoyed a couple of balmy, sunny days. Favorite things: walking down la Ronda and seeing the Plaça Catalunya and the markets (oh, what a market!); slipping into a church in the medieval district; random street bands; everything Gaudi (famous Barcelonian architect), especially the Parc Guëll--pretty much the coolest place I have ever seen;

Ali and I chilling at Parc Guëll

the contemporary art museum in all its odd significance; New Year's on the Plaça Catalunya--we ate a grape with each stroke of the clock at midnight, per Spanish tradition (thus I spent New Year's with my cheeks chubbed out with grapes) and celebrated with the locals and the tourists;

Flo, Ali, and me ringing in the New Year, Barcelona style

and, last but not least, TAPAS--the best food invention ever--essentially a series of appetizer-like finger foods put together to make a meal shared by the entire table. Everyone gets to try a little something of everything.

Following Barcelona, we were all exhausted and travel-worn (I was really missing my "home" in Blois!), so we spent the last leg of my visit hanging out in Foix. It was Flo's birthday the night we got back from Barcelona, so we got some delicious food from the friendly and sophisticated lady from la Réunion and a whole bucket of delicious ice cream (good choosing, Flo!) in one sitting. The next and last day of my trip, Ali and I hiked up one of the mountains surrounding Foix (what a work out!) and took in the view while having yet another of our epic chats:

You can almost see the château de Foix on the bottom right, as well as the snow-capped peak of the mountain opposite.

I caught a very early train home the following day to avoid SNCF striking drama, and over 12 hours later, arrived safely in Blois.

I almost entitled this post (when I started writing it nearly two weeks ago) "Erin:  Victorious." You see, I won a battle at last with Clyde the washing machine. Not a single glitch. As I write this, I'm scanning my room for a bit of real wood to knock on so that I don't jinx my next face-off with Clyde, which should be soon judging by my growing pile of laundry.

School has been going very well since my return. I've definitely started to hit my groove. I've been doing the body, which involves singing "Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes" at least 100 times a day and perfecting the art of fooling people during Simon Says (or Jacques a dit--Jack said--as it is called here). The kids have absolutely loved it, so I hope my next series of lessons on feelings and emotions goes over as smoothly. We'll be playing charades, singing "If You're Happy and You Know It" (yes, I'm cleverly tying in a review of body parts with my lesson on emotions), and playing Memory with emotion cards.

It snowed here today, and quite a bit for Blois. It was quite a thrill to open my shutters this morning and be confronted with a world turned white overnight. Harriet, Amy, and I had a good time building snowmen and completely freezing our toes off tramping around a snow-blanketed Blois, then returning to our chilly rooms (heat is out) to warm ourselves with mugs of tea.

Signing off now because it's late and I've got school tomorrow!